I found my wife interesting at first sight.

I was nearing 40 and I had already dated enough women to know what wasn't right for me and I knew what I wanted for my future.

I found my wife interesting at first sight.
I found my future wife interesting at first sight.

A story about falling in love and staying in love. Not every marriage fails.

I first saw Cece at a destination wedding. I was sitting with the few people I knew on one side of the room while she was hanging out with friends and family on the other. I can tell a lot about a person when surrounded by family, and their dynamics were interesting. 

That evening, I subtly moved her name card next to mine at the rehearsal dinner. I wanted to get to know her in the little time we had left. It transpired she had a long-term boyfriend, lived far away, and travelled for work. I shared that I had recently started dating someone and was working in a new company with crazy long hours. It didn't stop us from spending the next two days together, yet we never swapped numbers.

I returned home and couldn't get her out of my head. I wasn't going to fly across the world for her and I had no intention of moving to another country. The logistics were not realistic, but I didn't care.

It's not my character to cheat, nor to encourage someone to cheat for me, but Cece had something about her that made me want to dive in and be with her. Common sense kind of took a back seat and I had to contact her somehow. I found her email on the mailing list from the wedding, emailed her, and a few days later she responded. We emailed back and forth for a few months, like letters in the post, and every message she took her time to respond. I still didn't care about the boyfriend as I knew he wasn't right for her or she wouldn't have been in contact with me. I was going a little crazy trying to find a way to meet up with her again. When Jane, a friend of mine mentioned she was going to an event and needed a plus one and that Cece would be there, I jumped at the opportunity. 

I didn't know if her boyfriend was coming, but that didn't stop me. When we arrived at the party Jane nudged me in the ribs, Cece was standing alone. I walked up to her, asked her to dance and never left her side until it was time to leave. I emailed her to tell her parents I wanted to meet them, she laughed. I told her to end her relationship, she said NO. I was so frustrated at this point that I stopped all contact. I promised myself three months of no contact and if she didn't reach out I would move on. Three months to think about me, to end her relationship, and to finally call me. I waited and waited impatiently and a week before the end date she contacted me. We have been together ever since. My reasoning for that time frame was that she needed the space to evaluate what was good for her and to take action if she wanted to be with me, it had to come from her. 

I was nearing 40 and I had already dated enough women to know what wasn't right for me and I knew what I wanted for my future. Cece and I come from similar backgrounds with many shared values. She was comfortable about my ambitions and what that would mean for her, and her ambition complemented mine. Our marriage has more than love. We have a shared purpose, we value family and we are friends. I see her as my wife, not just the mother of our children. We parent together, and of course we have friction, but we rarely argue and we don't bicker. Cece and I are funny together and we find ourselves laughing daily. Language is everything, and although we are direct with each other, we don't hold grudges or verbally attack one another. We never put each other down. 

Cece is a fabulous partner and mother who has always accepted my long work hours. Her hours revolve around our children, and that can be exhausting. We have learnt to turn up for each other in different ways, it can be a walk together to the shops or book a show that the other would enjoy. I don't have to enjoy what Cece does, but being present for her and seeing her enjoy something nourishes our relationship. 

I ask Frank about their finances. I know it's invasive but I ask anyway. 

We have complete transparency with our finances. Cece has knowledge and access to every investment, account, and professional we employ. We share the same financial goals for our future, why wouldn't it all be transparent? 

We have been married for 15 years and have two children. We have experienced life's ups and downs, sleepless nights, working long hours, and not once have I ever considered leaving Cece. We watch our friends fall out of love and get divorced, and I consider myself blessed. You can't help but look at the relationships around you and compare. It is more than likely people look at us and wonder if we are happy or what we are doing right. We are not only content, but we continue to grow together. One day the kids will leave home and it will be just the two of us.

Frank smiles.

If you want to share your story or you are a professional who wants to share some insights, please email me at contact@angryexwife.com