> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.angryexwife.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # The Hidden Mental Load Men Carry - URL: https://www.angryexwife.com/the-hidden-mental-load-men-carry/ - Published: 2026-03-05T11:48:35.000Z - Updated: 2026-03-09T13:11:58.000Z - Description: A rant from a husband about the mental load. 'Why is our mental load ignored?' - Author: Anonymous - Tags: Men of Divorce, Love & Marriage, Finance **When we discuss the mental load** we associate it with mothers who run the ship whether they are working or not. I am not arguing that it doesn’t exist, it does and it’s fucking mental and ridiculous. Yet it appears we are at a point where men have lost the ability to make decisions on their own when it comes to the household and children**, or** is it because women have been conditioned to believe and trust that all men are incapable? **O**r are we doing too much, needing too much, being a little too pedantic? Find me a husband who hasn't given up trying because we have all been berated for doing something incorrectly and not to our wives liking. Eye roll ladies. **So what if the knives and forks are mixed up?** I’ll tell you who cares, the magazines, my mother and her mother and the tuts from other women suggesting not so subtly ‘you are failing as a housewife.’ It’s a marketing lie enforced by pretty pictures and an excessive amount of recipes and thirty essential ingredients. My grandmother was happy to serve meat and veg or beans on toast. Hell, I was raised on jacket potatoes and cheesy beans and I turned out fine. **Stop being a fucking master chef and a domestic goddess and use the extra time wisely. Like smile for once instead of scowling at me.** Do you realise that as a husband I am also carrying a heavy mental load at work? I am seriously concerned about the cost of living, transport, job security, growing old and being ousted by the youth and AI, and then when I come home and put my bags down I worry if I forgot something instead of kissing her hello. **I am always on edge I will piss her off.** I don’t want to fluff the cushions she spent money on, because whilst she enjoys the pop of colour and the soft fabric, I am thinking, ‘I am never going to be able to retire at this rate. If I put my feet up to relax will she pick a fight about the cost of the footstool? I wish the finances weren’t my responsibility but this is how I was raised. I don’t resent it, but I don’t get a choice in this. **‘Be the man and care for my family’ I want to, I am, but I might die of a heart attack any day soon from the stress that rests on me.** Do you know how much money I bring home after taxes, pension, mortgage, car payments and any other debt we are paying off? Bet you don’t have a clue. So whilst you get upset about what I do and don’t do as a man at home, take a few months to read up on the mental load that men are struggling with and we can’t ask you to share the burden of. And if you are a full-time working parent, or the person carrying the financial load, then this story wasn’t about you or for you. No need to get your knickers in a twist. **To my wife,** if you ever find out this was me, “I love you, I love the kids, but when I tell you I am struggling, realise I am not competing with you in the exhaustion game and battle of life. I just need you to listen and help come up with a plan to share my mental overload too.” ### Further reading - [The Most Ordinary of Marriages](https://www.angryexwife.com/the-most-ordinary-of-marriages/) - [Why Can't I Have an Affair? I Repulse Her](https://www.angryexwife.com/why-cant-i-have-an-affair-i-repulse-her/) --- As always, [reach out](mailto:contact@angryexwife.com), share, tell me your story, your perspective, a comment or two. Divorce sucks, and together we can reduce the stigma of shame and failure that society insists comes with. Because life happens.