Did you search 'How do I know if my marriage is over?' this summer?
May and August are also known as times for people to search up divorce advice.
‘Divorce January’ is famous for the number of couples enquiring about divorce and filing for divorce. It’s almost as if the two weeks of Christmas were enough to end your marriage.
I doubt it. Do you?
The unhappily married vibe started way before, and the breadcrumbs of hints and suggestions that the marriage was about to go up in flames ignored finally reaches a new high over the break- especially with the kids at home. To save a marriage, you cannot hint. The other might be living in auto mode and just as unhappy but believing this is what marriage is about. The ups and downs of life.
Summer is notoriously a tense time for unhappy couples. You are expected to go away, do something glorious, post a happy family trip, whilst creating family memories, when all you want to do is snap;
‘I hate the way you brush your teeth’ or ‘Do you have to chew so loud?’
You start plotting your escape whilst they find a reason to log on to a meeting.
‘How do I know if my marriage is over?’ “How long will it take to divorce?’
Should the end result be that you want a divorce, it still takes time to say it out loud to yourself and your spouse. They may want couples therapy and they may beg to stay and promise to change. You will need to accept the emotional rollercoaster that comes with turning life upside down. You may even half-heartedly give it one last go. Then it’s suddenly Christmas and New Year’s Eve and with the suggestion of ‘new’, you think it’s best to have one last Christmas as a family and start the process in January.
You promise each other you won’t be assholes and uncouple like Chris and Gwyneth. If you manage to get it right please please please email me, because I am yet to find someone who didn't get burnt at some point by divorce.
If you would like to share your story or you are a professional who wants to share some insights, please email me here